frigging emo

i will be home by next thursday!

8 days left for me!!!!

*dances*
*throws confetti*
*runs around throwing hands in the air and shouts "Go Go Go! show them what girls can do"*
*laughs hysterically*
*burns all my academic papers and books*
*dances more*




Grief:
*i do feel sad as well.
*i feel sad that i have to leave trinity and melbourne.
*i feel sad for needing to leave my friends here.
*i feel sad for getting older.

FEAR:
*i'm scared.
*i'm scared of my final results.
*i'm scared of starting a new life in university nex year.
*i scared of leaving my home again.
*i'm scared of heavy loads of work piling into my head.
*i'm scared of loneliness.
*i'm scared of everything which can be perceived as challenging and threatening.

gosh, i have mixed emotions. i'm so EMO. can i bring my guitar over nex year? so i can start making awesome emo songs? songs about my sad and pathetic life?

should i? or should i not?

YAY!!
i'm finally done with my psychology. i know how to answer most of the questions but the problem is not with me... its with my tutor. he's known for being stingy and picky in marking. screw him. he made me loss interest in doing well in psychology. he marked by judging on one's English level instead of the psychological facts we spent so much time memorising. anyway, i stil luv psychology, i'm amazed by how much i've learnt from this course.

actually, same thing goes for media and communications. i seriously luv both psychology and media & communications... it's just that i can't get good marks in both of the subjects. what a pity. i luv thus subjects but i don't wanna take them in the future anymore. it's all because of the tutors (Ian and Ron) who had totally crushed my dreams. i loss interest and i learned helplessness. it's true, human learned helplessness when things aren't within their control anymore.

oh well, forget bout things i can't control and let's move on to the things I'M IN CONTROL OF

oh my gosh, i'm in a dilemma right now.

what should i do?

I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE NEW APPLE 24" IMAC!


damn. it's too sexeh... yesh... again. it's a super massive mofo with 24" crystal clear screen. here's the specification:

* 2.16GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
* 1GB 667 DDR2 SDRAM - 2x512
* 250GB Serial ATA Drive
* NVIDIA GeForce 7300 GT 128MB SDRAM
* Apple Keyboard & Mighty Mouse + Mac OS X
* 24-inch widescreen LCD
* AirPort Extreme
* Bluetooth 2.0 + EDR

to be honest, i don't care much about the specification... the thing i luv most about it, is the 24" screen!!! let me give u an idea of how big is a 24" monitor!!! i can drool just by plain googling the pictures.


even a middle aged man (i'm sure he's not too small in size) can hide behind the box

hell yea, start measuring with your dvd cases now!

it's even too big for a car back sit. probably u get to see me in a tram in melburn with it someday soon. bwahahahha. well, i wish

although it's 24", it's relatively skinny. slim and slender. gosh. sexeh

GOSH!!!!
i have no idea if i should get it? or should i just get the 20" one instead?
i don't know i don't know. i hate making decisions.


which one? which one? which one?

will the 24" fit my tiny and always messy table?

or... it's unnecessary since i've already have 3 computers? but none of them is apple and none of them is 24"!!!

ARGH!!!! SHOULD I? OR SHOULD I NOT?

an e-mail to parents

hahahaha. my dad forwarded a mail which sounds like this:

Dear Mom and Dad..

I have finally left my black boyfriend, older than me by ten
years,whom you did not like very much. I found, as you
suggested, a nice Ca ucasian boy the same age as Iam.

Attached is a recent photo of the two of us. Thanks for
being so right

Your loving daughter, Susie...




hahahaha. i wonder what's my dad trying to say. hmmm...

tears

i talked to my parents on the phone just now.

my tears started rolling down my face after i said good bye to them. i don't want to hang up. i want to talk to them.
i miss them. i seriously do.

i talked to my aunty in the morning as well. she's my favourite aunty.
well, i luv ALL my aunties just that i like her a wee bit more. i'll help her to buy a new 80gb ipod video for my cousin before i go back.

i don't know. after talking to them, i finally broke down and cried like a motha fucka. damn.

i want to go home. more than anything right now

i miss my parents
i miss my families
i miss all my friends
i miss all the food
i miss my house
i miss my pets
i miss my cars
i miss hanging out in malls
i miss using the malaysian currency freely
i miss being treated like a princess

i have no idea how lucky i really am before i came here. i felt bad for all the rebellious things i'd done in the past.

i never know how to say thank you when my dad bought me stuffs. whenever i said i want something, he never failed to get for me. even if he couldn't, he's already tried his very best.

i never understand the things my mom did to me. all i had in mind was she's too strict and nasty. it's hard to forgive myself that i questioned if i was her daughter. i hate my past.

as the date of me leaving for home gets near, i miss home even more. i kept imagining myself doing my favourite things in malaysia. there are too many things i want to do but i'm afraid there is too little time. i have too many things to do, and i have no idea which should i do first when i step out of kuala lumpur international airport. i have to make full use of the 8 weeks in malaysia. after that, i'll be back in melbourne and continue building the path to my future. i know it's hard, difficult and tiring but it's part of life... i have to conquer it and make everyone proud.

my eyes are blurred by my tears. i'm just typing with my imaginary keyboard.

here's a conversation i had with my dad:
(he always starts his conversation with a "so"
dad: SO, how are u doing? don't stay up late.
me: i'm alright, just stayed at home the whole day. aiyak, it's stil early la
dad: SO, what do you want to buy when u come back?
me: umm... dad.. i think i don't want to buy imac since my laptop is working fine
dad: what? why not? it's budgeted for.
me: but but but... i have alot of things i want to buy. imac is unnecessary at the moment.
dad: okie, tel me what do you want to buy?
me: um..... speakers for ipod... cameras... yea.. tats all
dad: okie. i gave u a budget of RMXXXXXX. so, don't worry. but if u want thus money in australian currency then i can't do it.
me: aiyak. no need la. i've already cut down my list
dad: okie, remember to show me your list of things u wanna buy before you cut them. okie?
me: argh. okie dokie dad

my dad wants me to be happy. sometimes when i told him about my problems i had here, he will be super worried and upset. then he will talk to my mom, both of them will comfort me. i'm sure they felt sad too.

okie. my family is not like super super super rich. i can just say we are a wee bit above average. there are zillions of people who are zillions times richer than me and there are millions of people who are not doing so well. my dad is a stingy person when it comes to spending money on himself. he seldom buy things for himself but he is really generous in spending money for the family. he wants everything to be the best for everyone in the family. i know he works really hard. his stress is like mine x983918279871. like he said, he never bring work back to home. he's a father at home and a fierce GM in his company. different!

i'm sure my parents miss me more. everything they do is for me.

hopefully i won't be back to myself who always scream at my mom and ignore my dad when i go back. i won't be the same anymore. i promise. umm... yea. hehe.

i will be a princess again when i go back. weee~

i hope that they will stay healthy and happy forever.

I LOVE MY PARENTS

in fact, i love everyone who loves me.

God is fair.
God gave me truly awesome parents when he took away my siblings
God gave me amazing friends although he took away my looks (which may come in handy in seeking partners)
hmm.. but i think God took away my intelligence too. for unknown reasons. eeeek
it's all good. i'm satisfied with love from families and friends


i'm happy with what i have now.

miller vs. miller junior

gosh, i watched the latest episode of Prison Break 2 just now. although i shouldn't since i stil hav psychology on wed, the temptation is too strong and i always have low resistance towards these things. haha

definitely cliff hanger. they always do this to us. they make us scream and our hearts throb at the very last second of the show. they make us want to watch more and become addicted to them. well, this Prison Break series has totally attracted me like a metal to a magnet. one of the reasons is because of wentworth miller. no doubt. he's the sex. wooo~

as for this episode, they show a flashback of his childhood. OH MY GOSH!!! these production people are brilliant, they found a miller junior who looks 99% alike with Miller!!!! i was so amazed!!!

hmmm... too alike too alike. gosh... the eyes color... the mouth... the face... FREAKY!

the heavy scent of irony

Ai Ming's piece of advice:


*sniff sniff* gosh, i smell IRONY. haha.

ipods camwhoring

It's so sexy that you just wanna lick its shiny metal ass. by the way, it doesn't taste good though. urgh. it feels like when the doctor shove a termometer under your tongue. haha. everyone can keep their hands off my ipod now becoz it's covered with my saliva. *wink wink*

this post is specially dedicated to the Holiness of ipods and the brilliant minds behind them.

you guys must be thinking: THIS GIRL IS A MANIAC. SHE'S JUST OVER EXAGGERATING.
the fact is...
I TRULY AM CRAZY. BITE ME.

i owned an ipod earlier. it was a 4GB ipod mini. that was my first and only mp3 player. however, it stopped doing what it does best to please me as it became too exhausted too fast. i mean the battery. what were you thinking? therefore, i've decided that its time to change. so i got myself the latest 80GB IPOD VIDEO. darn, it's 80GB! it's even larger that most people's laptops and computers. you can never imagine what i feels like to change an old antic ipod to the latest ones!

you change from:


ugly indian pink-colourless screen-small capacity-short battery life ipod mini


and scotched taped ear-phones which is only surviving on few tiny pathetic red and green wires

TO!!!!:

sexy black-2.5" color screen-80GB-ipod video

DAMN!!!

moreover, i think the new ipod nano is amazing as well. it's so small that you're so afraid that u might misplace it like when u misused it as bookmark or whatever ... that people with stronger grip like Mr. Universe would break it... that kids would think its a dark choc bar and swallow it. its just too amazing. i wonder what's the 3rd gen ipod nano will be? how small can they go? you will never know becoz they are APPLE. they wont do things which u can think of. they are brilliant. definitely GODLIKE! they create ipods like god created men.





OKIE DOKIE! IT'S TIME FOR MY IPOD VIDEO!!!




so in luv with my ipod engraving


oh yea, i wanna get my ipod a fansy high fashion outfit. i will dig through all the super brands and find the case that fits my ipod perfectly. yesh. i don't care how much it will cost me.
maybe something that looks like this:


dayem. cant get this color. it will be like the blacks trying to be whites. PEACE OUT~ WORD~

OUR IPODS SHOWDOWN!!!



yee's nano, my mini, shan's, jess's and my video

Ipod addicts

i finally got the time to boast blog about my new Ipod.
what can i cay about my ipod? hmm..
it's way better than having sex!!. big time. well, i duno. probably i'm just weird. i have high tendency of falling deeply and madly in luv with non-living things (especially electronic gadjets) instead of human beings. plus, i humanize them.

anyway, it was a tuesday as i can remember clearly. it was after i had my first exam which was literature, i was really depress and upset for unknown reason (well, i'm always depress). hehe. however, everything had changed since the arrival of ipod! my savour. they came in 3 different boxes. my heart was beating really fast like when a super hottie (such as Miller) walk past you and look you in the eyes. goodness me. me, shan and yee were shouting and jumping so bad and i think whole palmerston would be calling us crazy shits behind our backs. we tried to tear the boxes into pieces in order to reach our babies. it was a tough job though, i have to say.


i was so excited that even my hair could stand


i cut through the tapes with my swiss army knife carefully ... using my fat and short fingers... slowly lift up the lid of the box. it was amazing that i can still do things so delicately at that time.
and...
TA-DAH!
i can see it.. i can finally touch it... i was moaning really loud. i swear on my ass. haha. i can't describe the feeling of it like when u cant decribe the feeling of having sex. it's just ... just.... yesh.. orgasmic.

this is what happened:
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW






ISN'T THAT PRETTY??!!!! i know you would be nodding with me

shan and her WHITE 30GB IPOD VIDEO

yee and her BLACK 2ND GEN 8GB IPOD NANO

my BLACK 80GB IPOD VIDEO. me with 3 ipods. i'm greedy

PS: thanks alot to Jess for capturing every important moment of this truly amazing event. well, no like u want people to take pictures of you when you're having sex. like i said... IPOD IS BETTER THAN THAT!!!

can u say WOW

okie okie. i know i shouldn't have been blogging during exam period but but but I'VE FINISHED THE 3 SHITTIEST SUBJECTS (lit, hoi and maths)!!!! can't i just relief my muscles and brain tissues a little? i've NOT been sleeping well for 4 freaking days. damn it. stress stress stress.
so i tried to relax myself for a wee bit by watching 2 episodes of america's next top model. then when i was browsing through my photos folders... i found something!
*DRUMS ROLL*


i think it's funny.

i wondered what was i thinking back then. haha.
well, not like i look any better now, its just that i've learnt to discover the science of looking better in photographs.

there are several key elements:

• make good use of the right angle
• the power of make-up
• PHOTOSHOP IS THE MOST ESSENTIAL PART!

adobe photoshop so have to pay me advertising fees. bwahahaha.

however, thus who have met me in person would say that "cheh, u look no different from the "after" picture in person"

oh well, i so have to agree with u guys =]

so... people... picture is just 2 dimensional. celebrities may not look so hot as they appear to be on tv or mags! it's fake fake fake!

WHO NEEDS PLASTIC SURGERY WHILE YOU HAVE PHOTOSHOP??!!


DISCOVER THE TRUE BEAUTY OF PHOTOSHOP IN ORDER TO REVEAL YOURS



PS: gosh, even i cant stand myself in the picture. too fake. gosh. EW. TOO FAKE! POSER ALERT! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOI DOWN

yesh yesh. we are finally done with the shittiest subject on earth:

HISTORY OF IDEAS!

we study about the western civilization and how people in the past put forth revolutionary ideas which stil can be identified in the modern society.

it's really crap. it's meant to torture us and drain our brains... our exams was 3 hours. gosh. it was the longest 3 hours in my life ...
imagine when people

• shave your head
• crack open your skull
• take out your brain
• blend it
• boil it
• season it
• freeze it into a mould
• and put it back your skull
  

thats what u will feel when u sit for the exams for hoi. these hoi people in charged thought they can make u wiser by reconstructing your brain so you can think more critically, analytically and actively.

SOCRATES SAID THAT QUESTIONING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AND POWERFUL TOOL IN GAINING WISDOM BUT NOT BY TORTURING!!!!

bloody shits

we are too happy that we are finally done with it and pray that we will never have to deal with something like this anymore in the near future. it is too nasty.

i think i did badly in the exam due to it being my last minute piece of work. my essay was shallow and i just stuck in facts from my media and communications course. i talked about Rupert Murdoch in my essay... i talked about anorexia.
WHAT THE SHIT??!! yesh yesh. thats y i think my essay is so going to suck Jonathan's fart. as for section B, i read quite alot but i totally forgot most of them. so .. yeah... once again ... i think my HOI exam was fucked up.

up to this point, any idea what am i talking about? NO? thats good. u guys should be popping champagnes that u don't have to study HOI.

To sum up: only one year of hoi is bad enough to make u look like these:





alright alright. back to my maths. not a too awesome subject for me either.
ARGH~

NEW IPOD!

yay! after such ... i don't know how long of waiting but it seemed like forever ... OUR IPODS ARE FINALLY HERE!

the minute i woke up from my nap, shan and yee came screaming at my room door when they came over for dinner. it's all because our babies have arrived by our doorstep.

wooO~

totally cheer me up.. A HELL LOT

i'll blog more later

gotta fuck HOI now

all i've gotta say is:

IT WAS ORGASMIC!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!! OTHELLO!!!

FINALLY DONE WITH MY LITERATURE EXAM!
GO TO HELL!!! OTHELLO!!!
i spent whole day yesterday thinking about my essay. my question sounded like this:
"It is not emotional reactions alone which are the problem in OTHELLO, but also cultural influences. Do you agree?"
i think think think think think... i have no idea i'd spent how much time juz in thinking and brooding and reasoning and argueing and structuring the essay.
obviouly the one i wrote in the exam was different from the one i prepared at home because some ideas just stroke up while i was walking on my way to the exam hall.
argh! i don't know. i have a feeling that i'd flaunted it. but WHO FUCKING CARES!!??
IT'S OVER!!! no more literature!! i will be having fun in Malaysia before i know about the results.

however, stil... its doesn't feel good... i mean my essay... it's like a whole jumble of words and sentences directly from my head. i hope Alexandra will understand what was i trying to say in the essay since i always have difficulty explaining things neither through talking nor writting.
DAMN, IT SUCKS!


TAKE THAT!!!


BIN IS WHERE U SHOULD BELONG! (oh well, i'm not seriously going to throw the book away coz i still need to sell it as second book nex year)

OH WELL!!! MOVE ON TO HISTORY OF IDEAS!!!!
stil got alot of materials to read and and and ... what else.... yesh.... u r right... MORE THINKING!!!!!
GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!


my HOI notes. BLEH~

my thick and heavy as brick HOI text book
FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE

exams dates

November 21 (Tues).....Literature
November 22 (Wed).....History of Ideas
November 23 (Thurs)...Maths 1
November 24 (Fri).......English for Academis Purposes
November 29 (Wed).....Psychology
December 5 (Tues)...... Media & Communications



FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE

Warning!

WARNING!

To all the people who know me:

Please stay away from me due to my exam madness and emotional crisis.

I may display temporary symptoms of Bipolar Disorder but this will only last for 18 more days.

come near me at your own risk.


REMEMBER TO IGNORE ME!!!
(unless i ask questions)

I have to say sorry for all the things I did or going to do which had pissed anyone.



PS: Bipolar Disorder is an illness that results from an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, which can cause extreme fluctuations of mood from the heights of mania (elevated mood which may be out of character for the individual) to the depths of depression (persistent low mood).